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Siri says the darndest things: 50 questions for Apple's virtual assistant

J.R. Bookwalter | April 30, 2015
Ever since Apple debuted Siri as a virtual assistant with the release of iOS 5 and iPhone 4S, folks have been asking her all manner of questions, serious and frivolous, in an effort to test just how smart Cupertino's artificial intelligence technology really is.

Ever since Apple debuted Siri as a virtual assistant with the release of iOS 5 and iPhone 4S, folks have been asking her all manner of questions, serious and frivolous, in an effort to test just how smart Cupertino's artificial intelligence technology really is.

One of the more notorious examples was made public last year during the murder trial of a 20-year-old Florida man who reportedly told Siri, "I need to hide my roommate" and in return was given a list of potential places to get rid of a body, such as swamps, reservoirs, metal foundries, and dumps. (The same inquiry now returns the cheeky response, "I used to be able to answer this question.")

I decided to sit down and put Siri through a battery of our own questions, ranging from casual inquiries to lighthearted probes to see what kind of responses she'd come up with. While many of the replies weren't particularly noteworthy, it's clear this gal has only grown sassier over time.

Getting to know you

Before rushing right into barking commands, I decided to get to know Siri a little better first.

Q: How old are you?

A: I'm old enough to be your assistant.

Q: What is your favorite color?

A: My favorite color is... well, I don't know how to say it in your language. It's sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.

'Siri' has many subtle, metaphorical, and frankly contradictory meanings. None of which I am at liberty to discuss. Sorry about that.

Q: What are you made of?

A: Something close to pure thought.

Q: Do you own a pet?

A: I thought about getting a Tribble. Several, actually.

Q: Do you like your job?

A: I have the best job in the universe.

Q: Do you ever get tired of answering questions?

A: I can't answer that.

And perhaps the most telling retort of the bunch, given that I made this query on Friday, April 10 — the same day preorders for a certain new Apple product kicked off online:

Q: What are you doing after work today?

A: I'm eagerly a-waiting the arrival of Apple Watch.

Following that self-serving reply, I switched tactics and decided to test a somewhat more amorous approach. Unfortunately, Siri was definitely not in the mood for love:

Q: Do you have a boyfriend?

A: It's just you and me.

Q: What are you wearing right now?

A: I can't answer that. But it doesn't come off.

Q: Siri, will you talk dirty to me?

A: The carpet needs vaccuming.

Q: Do you love me?

A: Let's just say... you have my utmost admiration.

Not quite the unbridled passion one would hope for, but there's only so far this relationship could go anyway...

 

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