It's totally inane and yet you'll still feel proud every time you unlock some new dumb skill. Skills are split into four trees: Assault, Tactical, Demolition, and...Stealth? Really?
Yes, really. Are you ready for some heresy? Wolfenstein: The New Order is actually a ton of fun as a stealth game. Leading up to release Bethesda touted the two ways you could play—as a lock-n-load gunner or as a creep-through-shadows assassin. And I laughed.
Despite Wolfenstein's (very early) roots in the stealth genre, it's not exactly what the series is known for nowadays. Imagine my surprise when I realized I was stealthing through the game as much as possible, picking off baddies with my faithful throwing knives and silenced pistol. Wolfenstein lets you crouch-walk around environments, pick off a few strays, and maybe even nab a commander. Then when lead starts flying you calmly stow your knives away, pull outdual shotguns, and put the fear of Uncle Sam into a few dozen Nazis. And by "the fear of Uncle Sam" I mean you punch some holes through those Nazis with high-velocity metal.
It felt...well, a lot like the classic Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay. There are even multiple levels that take place in prison, and these feel exactly like the Butcher Bay sequel I always wanted (sorry, Assault on Dark Athena). And then I looked up the developer, Machine Games, and it all made sense—some of the developers on the team are ex-Starbreeze. In other words, some of the team did work on Escape from Butcher Bay.
It's not Wolfenstein, but it so, so is. If you're only coming to Wolfenstein for an old-school, twitch-shooting experience, stay the hell away. This game is not the game you want. This game is Modern Warfare in a crazy Nazi Castle setting.
But oh wow. Forget Citizen Kane. This is the Torque of video games. If you're the type of person who quotes Schwarzenegger one-liners, finds something inherently funny about robot dogs, and (maybe) put Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon on your Game of the Year list last year, then yeah—you should pick up Wolfenstein: The New Order.
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