And if using it doesn't earn you a trip to HR, well, someone at your place of employment is not working properly. Not surprisingly, each breast on the torso is a button. They would have added a scroll wheel somewhere in between, but they're saving that for the triple-breasted 'Total Recall' edition.
"Careful - he's a got a mouse!"
Number two on our list of Mice That Will Get You Fired is this mouse in the shape of a Sig Sauer P230 handgun from CyberGun. While it doesn't in fact shoot any projectiles, it should be creepy enough to keep most co-workers from interacting with you at all - until security comes to escort you from the premises.
The number three position in the same list is held by this Thanko Kinniku mouse. While its mere presence of this mouse on your desktop shouldn't get you in trouble, there are still numerous pitfalls waiting for you.
Using the mouse is supposed to stimulate your muscles with small electric shocks via stick-on electrodes, causing your muscles to contract involuntarily. It's like getting a massage, but not.
How's that going to get you fired? Try either of these phrases and see where they get you: 'Pardon me, would you mind lifting my shirt and rearranging my electrodes?' or 'I find your use of my mouse quite stimulating!'
Super Mario mouse
Introducing the most anti-ergonomic mouse ever produced: pixelated Mario. We can't help but wonder whether using Super Mario will immediately give you Repetitive Strain Injuries in your hand.
A mouse is such a simple device that not even the worst inventor could screw it up, right? Wrong! We've rounded up the 13 weirdest mice.
A calculator in every mouse by 2020
The LS-100TKM from Canon flips open like a 1990s mobile phone to reveal a secret integrated calculating device (aka a 'calculator') and numeric keypad.
We all want to secure our PCs, but few of us want to deal with the hassles required, like remembering long, complicated passwords or peering into a tiny iris scanner on the side of our mouse.
That's where the amazing Zalman FG-1000 FPS Gun mouse comes in. You can make your password 'password' and even the most sophisticated data thief won't be able to get a thing from your PC - they'll be too stumped by the mouse.
I don't care if your computer is packed with CIA secrets, no criminal will be willing to invest the hours and hours of frustrating trial and error you'll have put in just to figure out how to left-click. Call it security through obnoxious design.
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