Well, it was only a matter of time before someone published a piece saying Apple's celebration of 30 years of the Mac spelled D-O-O-M, but the Macalope wasn't really expecting it would be The New Yorker.
Writing for the magazine so venerable it can get away with un-ironically using a dude in a top hat with a freakin' monocle as its logo, Yukari Iwatani Kane wonders "Why Is Apple Being So Nostalgic?"
Oh! Wait! The Macalope knows this one! Is it because the company's run out of ideas and can only look backward now because, as we all know, only losers ever celebrate anniversaries? That's probably it.
Seriously, people, if you celebrate your anniversary it means your marriage is in dire trouble, because your best years together are behind you. Everyone knows that. Except your spouse, who will murder you in the face if you forget your anniversary.
A few weeks ago, Apple's longtime ad creator Lee Clow suggestively tweeted, "Gonna be a good Super Bowl. Mac's gonna be 30 :)." People immediately started speculating that the iPhone and iPad maker might air an ad celebrating the Macintosh computer's birthday.
Who? People. What people? Some people.
Any fans waiting for an Apple ad on Sunday night were disappointed.
Not as disappointed as Broncos fans, but disappointed nonetheless.
On Monday morning, however, the company released an online video that may have been what Clow was hinting at.
BREAKING NEWS: TWEET MISINTERPRETED. Thank God The New Yorker is on it.
But, as beautifully as the video depicted how the company's products have changed the world, it was also another reminder of how much Apple has changed since those days — not least because the old Apple, under Jobs, looked forward, not backward.
So, we're in the third paragraph of this piece and already Apple has disappointed us twice. Once for not delivering a Super Bowl ad and once for the ad it did produce being backward-thinking, even though it was shot on and heavily features its newer devices.
In some ways, Apple's celebration is well deserved.
No. In every way. Unless you'd rather go back to the command line.
No one could fault Apple for taking a moment to appreciate how far it had come.
You're doing exactly that. Do you not even read the words that your fingers are typing?
Now Kane will go into full "all is not well at the house that Jobs built" mode.
People who shouldn't be hired are being hired (like Apple's former retail chief, John Browett, who tried to incorporate big-box-retailer sensibilities into Apple's refined store experience).
Although, on the other hand, people who should be fired are getting fired. Like Apple's former retail chief, John Browett.
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