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The Macalope Daily: Trying too hard

The Macalope | Feb. 4, 2013
Dan Lyons would really like us to notice him. Really.

You know, Dan Lyons spends so much time crafting these little love notes to us out of spittle, whole cloth, a lock of Tim Cook's hair, and the rage of 10,000 suns that it seems rude not to reply at least once in a while.

"Why Do Americans Hate Android And Love Apple?" (reply, but not link to, of course, with a tip o' the antlers to Eric Shashoa).

Why do Americans overwhelmingly prefer iPhone when the rest of the world has overwhelmingly embraced Android?

Why, indeed? Mass hysteria? Fluoridation in the drinking water?

Part of it also might be that Apple's lawsuits against Android phone makers have been an effective form of marketing, creating the impression that Apple's rivals are a bunch of Asian cloners - a message that resonates with many Americans.

Please. Convicted cloners.

But Apple and its cheerleaders in the States don't just criticize Android phones; they also criticize Android users, depicting them as low-class people who are uneducated, poor, cheap and too lacking in "taste" (a favorite Apple fanboy word) to pay for an Apple product and instead willing to settle for a low-price knockoff.

Who does that?

See, for example, a recent story by Sam Biddle on Gizmodo called "Android Is Popular Because It's Cheap, Not Because It's Good," illustrated with a photo of a homeless man sleeping next to a shopping cart and bags full of collected cans. Nice touch!

Gizmodo now represents the forefront of Apple cheerleaders. They're not just rabble-rousers who would just as soon flame Apple as Android.

Sure, Dan.

This crap about Android being cheap has been around for years. It's true that there are inexpensive Android phones. But there are also inexpensive iPhones.

Inexpensive iPhones. Not cheap ones. Look, there are a lot of nice Android phones, but it has also become the de facto replacement for the flip phone. People who go in to replace their flip phone get it because you can get one free, even without a contract. There's an appeal to this--stop trying to deny it.

But while we're on this: What on earth is wrong with making phones for people who don't have much money?


And is the implication that somehow those sales don't count? Or count less?

Yes! Because people who don't pay for phones are less likely to pay for apps. And jerkweeds like you keep telling us that Android is "winning" because it has more users, implying that that means the platform is more robust than iOS.

As a leading mobile recently declared, Apple's iOS operating system has fallen behind Android.

Well, if someone said it, then it must be true!


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