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Smartphones are evil: 11 weird Google Suggest results, and what they tell us about tech in 2014

Matt Egan | July 24, 2014
Smartphones are evil. Macs are crap. Apple is dying. Everything you need to know about tech, from Google Suggest.

Windows is...

The top result here is a damning indictment of piracy and Microsoft's doomed attempts to tackle it. 'Windows is not genuine'. If you're seeing notifications that the copy of Windows that is installed on your PC might not be genuine, it's because Microsoft thinks that you are a pirate, or that you bought counterfeit software from a pirate. Either way your copy of Windows is not in Microsoft's view properly activated or genuine. You can fix this. But often the fix requires you to buy a Windows licence. And that is not a nice search term to be the top suggestion about your product.

And Windows is loading files loop? No-one is saying 'Windows is awesome', and that's sad.

Android is...

People are a bit more positive about Android. Excessively so. 'Android is upgrading'? In your dreams it is. We all know that the wheres and whyfores of which Android devices get the upgrade and when are as mysterious as why the writers of Coronation Street continue to employee Ken Barlow. But I guess that hope springs eternal. The Android fanboys are a positive lot, as another of their top search suggestions is 'Android is better than iOS'. Similar to, yes. As good as: I'll buy that. Better? Not so sure. (See also: 5 most exciting new features in Android L: why Android Lollipop will be a gamechanger for Google.)

Which brings us to our final Google Search Suggest result...

iOS is...

'iOS is keyboard view'.

Eh?

 

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