This best kind of parody is the unintentional, self-induced kind.
iPhone 6 will be the next Plastic Wonder of the Techworld
"Can you imagine the iPhone 6 encased in a unibody plastic material on its release date?" asks Erik Pineda, in an International Business Times post. "This possibility is hinted in Apple's new job listing that specifically hunts for engineers with years of expertise in plastic moulding."
Pineda picked this up from 9to5Mac, which picked it up from MacRumors, which saw several Apple job listings that mentioned the word "plastic." Decoding and demystifying Apple job listings is an iOSpherian skill rivaled only by the Sight, practiced by Sybill Trelawney, professor of Divination at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Pineda figures that since the plastic-bodied iPhone 5C is already, like, done, then Something Else is afoot for these positions. "With the 5C eliminated, the iPad 5 and iPad Mini 2 come to mind though leaked specs of the two tablets so far suggest they are draped in metal case just like the previous builds," he writes.
What could be left? We're glad you asked.
"It is the phablet-size iPhone 6 then that emerges as the likely recipient of Apple's growing interest in developing plastic-based materials for its gadgets," Pineda triumphantly concludes.
9to5Mac's Jordan Kahn isn't quite so triumphantly certain but he clearly thinks the job openings show or suggest or hint or indicate that Apple wants plastic for more than internal parts that no iGadget owner is every going to see.
"While we know the current iPhone and iPads do use some internal plastic parts, the job listing also makes mentions of aesthetic requirements as well as experience in plastic materials and design for manufacturing in terms of geometry and cosmetic quality,'" he writes. "That could be a hint the position will involve more than just the design of internal plastic parts."
As of this posting, there are three job openings that "could be a hint," including "Sr. Materials Engineer - Plastics," "Plastic Tooling Engineer," and "MDE Adv. Plastic Tooling and Process." There's no indication whether these are brand new jobs that didn't exist before, or additional positions related to plastics, or replacements for existing jobs that have become open.
iPhone 6 and iOS 7 will be the "start of Tim Cook's CEO legacy"
"A year and a half in, and the Tim Cook-era Apple has finally pulled back the curtain on a product which wouldn't have been if the late Steve Jobs were still running the company," writes Will Stabley, of the eponymous StableyTimes, a "new kind of news."
"iOS 7 is a left turn, a change in software design philosophy which follows a corresponding change in software design architects and accompanies a similarly new fangled iPhone 6," Stabley declares. "If Jobs had remained in charge at Apple he'd have continued finding a way to keep the peace between the widely hated Scott Forstall, whom he valued greatly, and the rest of Apple's leadership team. Forstall would have remained in charge of iOS design. And the product we now know as iOS 7 would have had the same name but been an entirely different product. Actually iOS 7 would have looked pretty much like the last six versions."
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