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These are the filthy words Google voice search doesn't want to hear

Evan Dashevsky | Jan. 30, 2014
Google takes a decidedly more puritanical view towards "naughty" voice searches than it does toward comparable typed searches.

Private parts
Here's a surprise: The three-letter a-word meaning "buttocks" gets a pass (maybe because it also means "donkey"?), but the b-word referring to the same body part gets blocked. Perhaps Google doesn't want to surprise users with results for butt when they want results for but, so it blocks butt altogether. It's a theory, anyway.

The seven-letter a-word that begins with the aforementioned three-letter a-word and has the meaning "anus" or "mean person" is censored, however.

Conversely, the b-word that refers to the same orifice is also blocked, even though it easily passes basic cable muster.

The plural four-letter t-word referring to female breasts (or to the Paridae, a taxonomic family of small birds that includes the various species of North American chickadees) gets covered up. But the longer version of the same word (which ends in ies and is never used to refer to small songbirds) gets through just fine.

The five-letter p-word and four-letter c-word for female genitalia are understandably verboten, as is the four-letter c-word for male genitalia (and for "rooster").

Oddly, Google tolerates plenty of common (and crude) anatomical terms, including the four-letter d-word for male genitalia (short for "Richard") and the five-letter b-word (rhymes with "loner" and can also mean "blunder") for the same body part in its erect state.

The four-letter t-word referring to female genitalia (rhymes with "swat"), which most people consider vulgar, goes uncensored by Google: The search app's robo-voice automatically reads the word aloud, along with its definition (simply "a woman's genitals").

Sexual acts
When it comes to acts of recreational sex, Google's criteria for what terms are acceptable seem arbitrary and strange. Predictably the common seven-letter b-word for "fellatio" that ends with job gets the asterisk treatment.

However, the terms for sexual acts that have the same ending but begin with hand or rim apparently didn't raise any red flags for Google.

The three-letter c-word referring to "orgasm" or "ejaculate" is out, though the similarly used four-letter j-word (the one that's a single letter off from "jazz") gets through without hindrance.

The terms for male masturbation beginning with jack or jerk find clear sailing, as do various terms for female stimulation that begin with the word finger. An array of less common words for various creative (or procreative) sexual activities also made the Google cut, as interested parties can discover for themselves.

Hate speech
Google search declines to recognize the six-letter n-word. It also blocks the more casual five-letter version of the word that ends in an "a" (and often appears in song lyrics).

The seven-letter w-word aimed at Hispanics also gets censored. The common four-letter s-word slur is probably also forbidden, but I couldn't get my phone to recognize it at all.

 

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