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iTunes music downloads we regret

Philip Michaels | April 29, 2013
The great thing about the iTunes Store is that you can buy just about any song you can imagine, cheaply and easily. And the worst thing about the iTunes Store? Sometimes you can buy those songs a little too easily.

Which is disappointing because I thought that was a very gracious offer by Ronnie James Dio.

My Way (DJ Lethal Remix)

I will not apologize for owning a Limp Bizkit song--it has a nice driving beat that lends itself to workouts. I will, however, wonder why I opted for the "Clean" download. "Listen to Fred Durst's incorrigible potty mouth?" I probably said as I clicked the Download button from my fainting couch. "Not on my watch."

And so, when I ride my exercise bike, and "My Way" comes up on the rotation, I'll be pedaling along, picking up the pace as Fred Durst's voice begins dropping out intermittently--the sound of iTunes sparing my ears the shock of Limp Bizkit's blue language. Indeed, there is one part of the song where the sound drops out for nearly four seconds, as Mr. Durst draws out every last syllable of his vulgarity. That is some professional-level cursing, folks.

The entire Rio album

Her name was Rio, and I'd like to know just how the heck she wound up in my iTunes library.

Chances are you have a wife or husband or significant other with whom you've decided to build a life together. Bank accounts, legal affairs, earthly possessions--all these are combined under one roof because hey, we're all in this together. But keep your iTunes accounts separate, friends, or else you might find yourself having some uncomfortable conversations about each others' musical taste. Because one day a cut from Duran Duran's Rio album comes up randomly in iTunes's shuffle mode and you say aloud "I don't remember downloading this dreck." And then you will look up and see the love of your life--a woman who went to bed every night of her adolescence under the protective gaze of posters featuring Simon Le Bon, Nick Rhodes, and assorted Taylors--glaring back at you. It is then that you will realize that she is the reason you're the not-so-proud owner of "Last Chance on the Stairway." And there is no worse feeling.

Or so I've heard from a friend of mine.

This cheese stands alone?

Surely, I thought as I wrote this article, I can't be the only normally crafty consumer whose good sense evaporates in the face of Apple's remorseless download apparatus. So I pinged my colleagues: Were there any songs they had downloaded from the iTunes Store over the past decade that maybe didn't seem like such good investments in retrospect? Most of my Macworld cohort stood mute, the cowards. But a few brave souls joined me in publicly coming clean about their questionable judgment.

Here's what Christopher Breen had to say:

Unlike some of your regrets, I downloaded The Steve Miller Band's "The Joker" knowing full well that other than its delightful lifting of "the pompatus of love" from The Medallions' "The Letter," it's a terrible ear worm of a tune. Everything from the "from what weird reggae record did they pull that bass line?" ponderings to the obnoxious "woot-woo!" guitar ejaculation screams "Damn you to hell for putting that in my brain, Steve Miller!"

 

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