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The 33 worst lines ever said by tech recruiters

JR Raphael | Oct. 6, 2015
Tech recruiters say the darndest things. How many of these cringeworthy pronouncements have you heard?

These real-world recruiter comments say it all:

24. "You have JavaScript on your resume. What do you mean you don't know Java?"

25. "[This job requires] experience of developing databases in HTML."

26. "[Looking for a] senior iOS architect with 10-plus years experience." (The first version of iOS was released in 2007.)

27. "What's the difference between a UI engineer and a Unix engineer?" (Posed to an IT employee by a recruiter hired to find engineers and programmers.)

28. "We are very impressed with all your Android work at [Company X] and we believe you would be a perfect fit for this great opportunity." (Sent to someone after his first day as a Company X employee.)

Man -- if only we had some sort of easily accessible online network that'd allow people to quickly look up facts and information ...

Category F: The 'WTF?'-eliciting recruiter

Our last category is the toughest to describe -- because, really, there's not much you can say besides: "What the heck were they thinking?!" (Feel free to switch out "heck" for the "F"-word of your choice -- I'd recommend "frickity-frack" -- for maximum effect.)

Ahem:

29. "What a beautiful morning, what a beautiful day! ... I am looking for people who don't follow roads, the Docs of the world. The people who take life and grab it, regardless of any paths or roads that have been set. We spend a lifetime of thinking 'what if'? But what if we spent a lifetime of 'I did!'"

30. "You'll be empowered to identify problems and dive head first into the equation. Risk is encouraged. Victory makes us who we are."

31. "I don't mean to be a nuisance, but there's really no way of knowing if someone might be interested or not without a response."

32. "I came across your profile and was very impressed by your pedigree."

33. "Due to the high volume of applicants, only shortlisted candidates will be shortlisted."

Well, that certainly clears things up. No word yet, however, on whether said shortlist could include any "women or other weirder types."

 

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