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Word play: Describing Android with two words

The Macalope | Aug. 10, 2015
Much like Grover had a bad, awful day, Android has had a bad, awful couple of weeks on the security front.

Much like Grover had a bad, awful day, Android has had a bad, awful couple of weeks on the security front.

"Android! Your ice cream fell off your cone!"

[Android looks down, slumps shoulders and frowns]

Writing for Ars Technica, Ron Amadeo describes the recent problems.

"Waiting for Android's inevitable security Armageddon"

Armageddon? That doesn't sound good. The Macalope's trying to imagine where Android users would get Raptured to but he's not sure he wants to know.

The upshot?

As you might expect, Google, Samsung, and LG have all pledged to "Take Security Seriously" and issue a fix as soon as possible.

Their "fix" is going to be to patch 2.6 percent of all active Android devices. Tops.

Well, this certainly won't stand. This running around and careless describing how things actually work. Time to double down on Android's inherent awesome, right InformationWeek's Thomas Claburn?

"Why Android Fragmentation Is A Good Thing" (tip o' the antlers to Jeffrey Weaver)

Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Malware.

Google Android operating system is often described as "fragmented." And generally, that's characterized as a problem.

A better term would be "diverse."

Indeed. Please take your fragmentation hate speech elsewhere.

But can't Android be both? iOS, for example, could be correctly described as "restrictive"

We do not say humanity is fragmented.

We don't? Humanity isn't biologically fragmented (present company excluded), but aren't people fragmented by political and economic systems, religion and class? This analogy actually works much better running counter to Claburn's claim because medicine is the human analog to software patches and often only the people in wealthy, industrialized societies have ready access to or can afford it.

We are not a monoculture. We should not expect our phones, or the code that runs them, to conform to a single standard.

What is "sec-ur-ity" anyway? Are you going to let some company tell you what software patches you need? Hey, maybe you want all your information to be compromised. Ever think of that?

What happened to you, Danny? You used to be a rebel. You've changed, man.

Apple executives...

Heeeere we go...

...have made it a habit to emphasize the downside of Android's diversity.

Psh. What is up with that? It's almost like their devices "compete" against Android devices and they feel like it's in the best interest of their business to point out the differences between the two to emphasize the benefits of their products.

...the blame for the low adoption rate of Android updates belongs with the Android ecosystem...

Google certainly isn't to blame. No, Google is a holy, blameless creature like a seraph or a unicorn or Benedict Cumberbatch. ("He's good in everything.")

 

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