Do not weep for tech coverage, dear readers. It is already dead.
It's an automatic watch, and it isn't pretentious.
It's true! Something so garish could never be considered pretentious.
The big appeal of this watch is that it's self-winding and, unlike the Apple Watch, doesn't have to be plugged in every night. OK, fair advantage. However, you might think it's at least notable that it does none of the things the Apple Watch does, like tell you the weather, track your workouts, show you your messages or any other of like a hundred different things that might be worth the $200 price difference.
You might think that because you are a reasonable human being but, needless to say, Schlossberg and Business Insider did not because there is no mention of it in this piece and they are unstoppable link-baiting cyborgs from the future sent back to steal all the links.
So, it's not a smartwatch and it does not have luxury cachet. But it's supposedly "terrifying" for...
You know what? The Macalope's just going to sit here and stare at the wall for a while instead of questioning the insanity.
Mmm. Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. That is some premium wall.
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