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The outrage gap: How Apple always gets top billing

The Macalope | Oct. 7, 2014
If there's no such thing as bad publicity then Apple's got it made.

Indeed! So how's this one work?

Both Android and iOS are vulnerable, but iPhones can only be infected if they have been "jailbroken"...

So, let's get this straight. Out of the box Android phones can be infected, but only jailbroken iPhones can be. Now, if you're new around here you may not be aware that Android phones have more market share than the iPhone. It's true. The iPhone's market share is in the teens while Androids is, like, 4,000 percent or something. Jailbroken iPhones, in turn, represent a very small percentage of all iPhones. So, you kind of have to wonder which phones are really getting hacked in greater numbers here.

Let us now return to the headline of this article: "Hackers Target Hong Kong Protesters via iPhones." What a long, twisted journey it's been since then. Feels like ages ago! You looked so young! You've put on weight since we read that headline. But it looks good on you.

It's only by paragraph 11 that we're informed jailbreaking is only done by a few users. That's right before this bomb of ridiculousness is dropped:

One theory is that the hackers have developed a way to jailbreak Apple devices remotely through some undisclosed vulnerability, Shaulov says. This is a possibility that he says is pure speculation--and scary, nonetheless.

It's always the threats that are pure speculation that are the scariest. Like viper squirrels, the silent killers that strike from the trees. Pure speculation, but you'll probably be giving trees a wide berth from now on.

Encase it in amber
It's time for another look at the hot trend sweeping Punditlandia: Jobsplainin'.

"Why Steve Jobs Would Not Be Happy With Some Of Apple's New Brand Names" (tip o' the antlers to weid1)

Isn't it great that since Steve Jobs died, so many people who never even met him have taken the time to tell us what he would think about what Apple's doing right now?

Ira Kalb assistant professor of clinical marketing...

"That's 'assistant professor'. I didn't go to four years of assistant school to be called 'professor!'"

...at the Marshall School of Business of the University of Southern California and president of Kalb & Associates.

You know, the Macalope is president of Macalope & Associates. It's not a real thing, but it's his name so he can make it up if he wants to.

So, Kalb saw Apple's 9/9 announcements and thought something was amiss with the names of the products announced: the iPhone 6, iPhone 6 Plus, Apple Watch, and Apple Pay.

At lease one of them makes perfect sense. The others seem inconsistent with Apple's branding platform or branding logic.

 

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