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The Macalope Weekly: Who writes this stuff?

The Macalope | Sept. 10, 2012
It'll be a big week next weekas Apple gets set to unveil the next iPhone, and the pundits are already letting us know what a disappointment it'll be. Aren't they helpful? Frankly, the Macalope is used to that, since it happens every year. What he can't take are the trite pop culture comparisons to Apple that some people think are oh-so-smart. At least those we can argue about. Our last pundit this week can't even get basic facts right. Oh, the Macalope's aching antlers!

Look how complex Google's strategy is, how multi-layered.

How round, how firm, how fully packed.

Marketing technique wise, Android is a few steps ahead of iOS; it is freely distributed, it works across various hardware platforms.

Marketing to whom? OEMs?

You don't need a dedicated OS-run computer to fully use Android, unlike iOS which requires you to buy a Mac to fully use the iPhone and iPad's various features.

Buh--whaaaaaa? The Macalope runs into many ridiculous arguments but he so rarely runs into something that is that blatantly incorrect that when he does his antelope heritage takes over and he's stuck in its blinding stupidity as it mows him over.

Here's a lesson for Apple. Make iOS hardware-independent, and make it free.

BOO-YAH! Here's a genius idea for you Apple: Throw away your two-thirds share of the profit in a pointless attempt to gain market share!

Don't force people to buy expensive gear to use your smartphones.

What are you talking about?! Do the math! Apple sold 4 million Macs last quarter and 26 million iPhones. What are 85 percent of iPhone users doing? Using them as paperweights?

Rich, not-so-picky Americans might buy a $3000 Mac to use a $400 iphone [sic]...

Not only does Liston not know that you don't need a Mac to use an iPhone, he apparently also doesn't know that Macs start at $600 and iPhones start at $200. Seeking Alpha sure knows how to pick people to write about Apple, don't they?

The thing is, Google has something else to sell besides hardware; something so entirely different from the smartphone-related selling points that it does not need to tie Android to any hardware. It can afford to give customers freedom, because what it is selling - advertising - is not tied to any specific hardware platform.

OK, someone really needs to make a "Crap Google Fans Say" (foul language warning) video. Because the "freedom" to be shown ads on any hardware sounds delightfully Orwellian.

The recent legal wins have given Apple a lifeline for another couple years or so...

Right. Because without that, they were this close to going out of business.

If you ask me: who is going to be runner up in market share after 5 years, I will not say Google/Android and Apple. I will say, Google/Android and Microsoft.

Sound strange?

Crazy, strange, let's not quibble over terminology.

Just like access to the Internet is the most important feature of a smartphone, its second most important feature is plain Jane computing - the old world of Microsoft Word, and Excel, and photo editing.

Rest easy, huddled masses crying out to edit spreadsheets on your smartphones! Microsoft will set you free!

 

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