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The Macalope Weekly: The sincerest form of jerkery

The Macalope | Sept. 3, 2012
The Apple v. Samsung verdict came in too late for the Macalope to talk about it last week, but that just means we have a whole week’s worth of crazy coverage to discuss

In other words, while this might not be the best thing for consumers-and it certainly isn't good for competitors who haven't already come to terms with Apple-this is hardly the phonepocalypse.

Life imitates Apple

You Apple nerds, you think everything revolves around your favorite company. As if.

See, this whole Samsung thing can be easily explained with two words: natural evolution.

That's right, say it again aloud: natural evolution. That's the phrase executives have latched onto like an Alien face-hugger, attempting to deposit their Apple-copied eggs into it. (Sometimes these metaphors get away from the Macalope.)

Samsung wasn't copying Apple, it's just that smartphones naturally evolve into flat touchscreens with minimal buttons on the front and slide to unlock and a virtual keyboard and an Apple logo on the back and oops we went too far.

But it's not just Samsung that's sussed out the natural evolution of things. No, no, no, no, no. A world of five nos. Take Ultrabooks for example. Lenovo's COO Rory Read told us a year ago that the fact that Ultrabooks all look exactly like the MacBook Air was ...

"...just a natural evolution of the space."

Natural. Evolution. See? It's simple. And natural. And evolutional.

Forms evolve over time and they just naturally evolve into designs Apple happens to not necessarily invent but certainly popularize. See? What could be more natural? Or evolutional?

Another example: the Maingear Solo 21 all-in-one PC. Now, to the uneducated eye of the typical Apple strawman nerd, it might look almost exactly like an iMac. In fact, it actually does look almost exactly like an iMac, but with the obligatory row of additional ports. But the point is, while laptop forms just naturally evolve over time to look like the MacBook Air and smartphone forms just naturally evolve over time to look like the iPhone, desktop forms ...

Yeah, you're getting it.

Desktops evolve into forms that have an all-in-one enclosure around the screen with an aluminum stand supporting the device from the back and curving around to the bottom with a hole in the back for cables and ... well, just look at an iMac.

Or, if you don't have an iMac, maybe you can look at the HTC tablet that looks just like an iMac. See, sometimes in natural evolution there are mutations that can't be explained. See also: tablets that look like the MacBook Air.

Finally, to drive this point home, when software forms evolve beyond outdated metaphors of the 1990s into metaphors that Apple doesn't even use-like, say, Microsoft ditching the Start menu for a tile-based interface-they naturally immediately evolve into something that Apple does use. Naturally. Like the Dock.

 

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