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The Macalope Weekly: From bad to worse

The Macalope | Oct. 1, 2012
You'd think that if Steve Jobs called you "a slime bucket" for talking out of school about his cancer that you might have the good taste to not presume to lecture on how Apple would be doing if Jobs were still alive.

This week's journey of adventure in bad Apple coverage takes us from the lofty pages of The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal down to the gutter of Gizmodo, which lovingly opens its virtual arms to an angry screed by Newsweek's Dan Lyons. Technology coverage is not pretty, dear readers.

Not that interesting

You'd think that if Steve Jobs called you "a slime bucket" for talking out of school about his cancer that you might have the good taste to not presume to lecture on how Apple would be doing if Jobs were still alive.

Well, then you're not Joe Nocera!

Writing for The New York Times, Nocera asks "Has Apple peaked?" (tip o' the antlers to pretty much everyone).

Wasn't the Macalope just complaining about people not doing the required reading? Come on, New York Times! We thought that time you don't spend putting a comics section together was devoted to editing and research and being respectable! Now we have no idea what you're doing.

If Steve Jobs were still alive, would the new map application on the iPhone 5 be such an unmitigated disaster? Interesting question, isn't it?

No! It's not! If only because it's been asked by every Apple-hating rube who can string two sentences together for the last 12 months. Steve Jobs's death is just another in a continuing series of imaginary brass rings on the merry-go-round of Apple doom.

But more importantly, it's an asinine question.

As Apple's chief executive, Jobs was a perfectionist. He had no tolerance for corner-cutting or mediocre products. The last time Apple released a truly substandard product-MobileMe...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there.

MobileMe. Which was released under ... who? Yeah, right. "Steve Jobs never would have released a product as shoddy as this product released under Steve Jobs!"

No one read that at the Times and thought "Wait a minute ..."? Arrgh.

No doubt, the iPhone 5, which went on sale on Friday, will be another hit.

Yes! And the Maps issue will fade with time like Antennagate, Glassgate, HandicappedParkingSpotGate, and JobsWithAMustacheGate.

So, to answer your question again, no, this is not an interesting question.

Apple's halo remains powerful. But there is nothing about it that is especially innovative.

Sadly, it has become a cliché to say one is typing slowly so the slower students can understand, but the Macalope hopes Nocera will take the time to read this next part slowly and digest it. Apple reinvented the personal computer with the Mac, it reinvented the music player with the iPod, and it reinvented the cell phone with the iPhone. It did all that over the last 28 years. To expect the company to come out with another product as ground-breaking as those in the year since Jobs died is simply absurd.

 

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