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The Macalope Weekly: CEO chatter

The Macalope | Nov. 6, 2012
It’s all about the CEOs this week, as Steve Ballmer takes potshots at Apple, Amazon’s Jeff Bezos gets a love letter, and Tim Cook gets a “Dear John” letter.

[The Macalope merely stares dumbfounded at the screen of his MacBook Air (which, coincidentally, does not have an SD card), unable to form words, his brain attempting to crawl out of his furry ears in an effort to escape the dumb.]

the final straw was when you decided to replace the dock on the bottom of all your iPhones and iPads with the new lightening dock.

Good God, are you still here? JUST GO, ALREADY.

Perhaps the problem is youre not the same person any more. Youre not Steve. Perhaps.

So, Conway is leaving Tim because hes not Steve and instead running into the arms of Kun-Hee? Thats like breaking up with Ben Affleck because hes not Matt Damon and then dating a Matt Damon impersonator instead.

Either way, Im tired of settling for mediocrity from you these days.

Uh-huh. Well, good luck with your new beau, even if all its edgy, original ideas revolve around how best to copy Apple this year. The Macalope is sure youll be happy and this isnt just another in a long line of poor personal choices that will leave you wondering why youre never happy.

[eye roll]

 

 

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