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The Macalope Weekly: CEO chatter

The Macalope | Nov. 6, 2012
It’s all about the CEOs this week, as Steve Ballmer takes potshots at Apple, Amazon’s Jeff Bezos gets a love letter, and Tim Cook gets a “Dear John” letter.

Windows 8 is really all about enabling new, creative, imaginative devices, Ballmer stated. PC Notebooks, PC desktops, PC laptops and now PC tablets as well&

PC phones, PC PCs, PC chest of drawers, and PC womens undergarments, all fully capable of running Microsoft Office!

Tim Cook had his own feelings about the Surface, and would you be surprised to learn they dont exactly coincide with Ballmers? Shocking, but true.

Apple CEO Tim Cook: Microsofts Surface Tablet Confusing and Compromised

I havent played with a Surface yet, but what we are reading about it is that it is a compromised and confusing product, Apple CEO Tim Cook said on the companys earnings call late this afternoon, which took place just hours after Microsofts Windows 8 launch event. One of the toughest things you do is make hard tradeoffs and decide what a product should be, and weve done that with the iPad.

Tim, Tim, Tim. What customers want is a no-compromises, unholy tablet/PC hybrid that OH, GOD, ITS ALIVE, IT JUST KILLED A SCIENTIST.

Cook didnt stop there.

No, he did not.

You could design a car that flies and floats, but I dont think it would do all those things very well, he said.

Well, yeah, OK, but what if not doing things really welljust kind of trying to cover all your bases and then shoving something out the doorwas kind of your thing? What then, smart guy?

The Macalopes terrible at predictions (OK, he totally nailed the BlackBerry PlayBook hitting the ground like a dead duck, but that was pretty easy), so hes not going to venture a guess at how well the Surface is going to do. But with launch lines ranging from modest to non-existent and initial reaction being mixed (again, tip o the antlers to The Loop), its not a great start for the device thats supposedly what customers really wanted & even while they were buying enough iPads to make a fort out of them.

Business model misunderstanding

There are not many truths the Macalope holds to be sacred, dear readers, but he has heard it said that if you were to put the articles written on Forbes website end-to-end, you could walk across this great nation of ours touching nothing but stupid.

And he sees no reason to doubt this.

Today on our journey across America, we will step on Pascal-Emmanuel Gobrys Apple And Amazon Earnings Show Once Again Jeff Bezos Is Steve Jobs True Heir (no link, blah blah).

Yesterday Amazon and Apple reported earnings at the same time, which made it even easier to contrast these two outstanding companies, especially now that they compete directly.


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