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The Macalope Weekly: CEO chatter

The Macalope | Nov. 6, 2012
It’s all about the CEOs this week, as Steve Ballmer takes potshots at Apple, Amazon’s Jeff Bezos gets a love letter, and Tim Cook gets a “Dear John” letter.

Its all about the CEOs this week, as Steve Ballmer takes potshots at Apple, Amazons Jeff Bezos gets a love letter, and Tim Cook gets a Dear John letter.

CEO cage match!

It was a battle of CEO words last week as Microsofts Steve Ballmer and Apples Tim Cook were metaphorically locked into a virtual cage in a no-words-barred battle royale!

CNBC brings us Ballmers rationale for why the Surface beats the iPad (tip o the antlers to The Loop):

I dont think anyone has done a product that I see customers wanting, Ballmer said Thursday on CNBCs Squawk Box.

Uh huh. Well, Steve, if the Surface is going to overtake the iPad in sales, it might want to stop limbering up at the starting line and, you know, actually start running. Particularly considering the fact that the iPad has a two-and-a-half-year headstart.

Neither [Apple, Amazon or Google] has a product that you can use, that lets you work and play, that can be your tablet and your PC. Not at any of those price points.

The Macalopes not really sure where Microsofts Swiss Army knife obsessionto have one device that does everythingcame from. It certainly doesnt seem to have resulted from actual humans who buy technology products, or at least not from that many of them.

Yes, syncing can be a pain sometimes, but how realistic is it to expect to have your one device to rule them all have just 32 GB of space? The Macalopes iPhoto library alone is that big.

This isnt to say the horny one sees no appeal at all to the Surface. He actually had a chance to lay his hooves on one and it was an interesting device. But its an interesting device tied to an uninteresting past. This isnt 1998. The Macalope has no need or desire to run bloated desktop applications everywhere he goes. He doesnt run spreadsheets much and hed rather take a poke to the eye with all of the sharp sticks than use Microsoft Word for any reason.

Of course, some people still do need to run Office applications. We call them the damned and take pity on them.

There is really a unique opportunity. What weve done with Windows 8 is really re-imagined Windows end to end, Ballmer said.

Well, except for the end with the desktop and legacy applications, which pretty much looks the same as Windows 7. You know, the butt end.

Windows 8 is different from previous versions of Microsofts operating software upgrades because it is designed for a more touch friendly interface.

A more touch friendly interface. Or, perhaps, a less hostile touch interface.


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