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The Macalope Daily: Extreme situations require extreme solutions

Macalope | Oct. 3, 2012
EXTREME Tech’s (capitalization the Macalope’s because EXTREME!) Sebastian Anthony poses the EXTREME-ly good question (see what the Macalope did there?): “Scuffgate: Will Apple have to recall the iPhone 5?”

But what about that statistic that 30 to 40 percent are arriving pre-scratched?

Over on MacRumors, 36% of 1,300 polled users reported that their phone was scuffed out of the box, and a further 10% had inadvertently damaged it within a few hours.

Yes, the MacRumors poll that Anthony cites is a web poll. So, you know, its statistically valid with a variance of plus or minus, oh, infinity.

Really, any way you look at it, your iPhone 5 will probably end up looking like a wreck after a few weeks of use.

A wreck. A shambles. A veritable dilapidation of a phone.

Its perfectly likely the Macalope is babying his iPhone 5, but after more than a week of use with no case, its still in mint condition. Let us agree to say your mileage may vary.

If the MacRumors poll really is representative, though&

Well, hey, it could be in that stopped clock kind of way.

&if a full 45% of shipped iPhones are damaged, or easy to damagethen the problem is obviously endemic to the iPhone 5's design and anodized chassis, and perhaps a full product recall is in order.

For scratches. On the back of the phone. In some cases. Depending on use. Sure.

And thats when the aliens decided that Earthlings were simply too overprivileged and spoiled and rather than risk having them spread their contemptible whining throughout the galaxy they nuked the planet to a charred cinder and everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

[Editors Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

 

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