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Missing all the signs: Desperately seeking a Watch flop

The Macalope | July 21, 2015
Guess what? Turns out it's easy to make the Apple Watch into a flop if you set completely unrealistic expectations and ignore any warning signs.

Guess what? Turns out it's easy to make the Apple Watch into a flop if you set completely unrealistic expectations and ignore any warning signs.

Writing for Fast Company, Mark Wilson phrases that slightly differently: "The Apple Watch Is Doing Splendidly If You Completely Lower Your Expectations For Apple" (tip o' the antlers to JoAnn Welsh)

Well, lowering them from "impossible" is still lowering them so, yes. We agree.

I struck a nerve when I called the Apple Watch a flop.

"Struck a nerve" is the new way of saying "I was called out for hyperbolically jumping to conclusions based on practically nothing." Pretty soon pundits will start literally lighting things on fire and when the police show up to arrest them they'll just say, "What's wrong? Did I... strike a nerve?"

"No, sir, you struck a match. And threw it into gasoline. Aaand you're under arrest for arson."

"Oh. Right."

Quartz's Dan Frommer, for example, isn't having it: "It is silly to call it a massive success yet, but it is equally foolish to call it a flop. It is simply too early, and not enough is known."

Sanity in a discussion about Apple? GOOD DAY, SIR.

Look: whatever.

Whatever. It's not like words have meaning or anything. You're not my real dad.

Even the worst-selling Apple product still pushes millions of units into the online and retail channel, but that doesn't inherently mean that the Apple Watch will become a cultural phenomenon...

The Macalope has been amused lately at the bar that's been set for Apple. Everything they sell must "become a cultural phenomenon" or it's a "flop."

These are not reasonable expectations. These are impossible goals designed solely to create faux controversy when Apple fails to meet them.

So get hung up on the term "flop" if you want...

Get hung up on that word I threw around with all the subtlety of Gob Bluth doing a magic show. Pssh, not sure where you're getting that. Other than my repeated articles using that very word. Gawd.

Frommer was not "hung up" on the term. What he did was tear your argument about the Watch not selling well into tiny bits of ridiculous confetti by showing your evidence held no weight. He then threw the confetti into the air and walked through it like Prince walking into a bachelorette party. That's what Frommer did.

...but the only benchmark we have for success here is how Apple's most recent products have performed, along with how Apple itself has talked about the watch.

Well, as for the former, Ben Bajarin estimates that first quarter sales of the Apple Watch will top first quarter sales of the iPhone and the iPad. So... really pretty good?

 

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