Subscribe / Unsubscribe Enewsletters | Login | Register

Pencil Banner

BLOG: The Macalope Weekly: Pointless exercises

The Macalope | Aug. 13, 2012
You ever wonder why people write some of these pieces about Apple? The Macalope sure does.

Can you imagine? They wouldnt even switch to any of the readily-available competing products that are made here in the U.S. by workers getting paid six figures a year to OH WAIT &

So, given the choice between continuing to use the best products availablemade by the company thats actually doing something about workers conditions in Chinaand Luddism, Apples mindless zealots chose to continue using their devices while asking the company to do more. Unconscionable.

Well, this was a delightful exercise in applying standards to Apple that no one expects of any other company, Quentin! The Macalopes not sure what the purpose of it was, but thanks!

Saturday Special: You cant always get what you want

Business Insiders Henry Blodget continues to try to leave flaming sacks of canine matter on our doorstep. You will be shocked (actual shock not included) to learn that Blodget says Im Already Annoyed By My iPhone 5 (tip o the antlers to Wes Kroesbergen).

No, you read that right. iPhone 5. If Henry Blodget is a time-traveler from the future, we must lobby the government to develop time-traveling technology as soon as possible, so we can send him back to whatever dystopian future Earth would not only produce this killer cyborg of trollery, but then send him back to our era just to increase ad impressions.

I havent gotten my iPhone 5 yet, but Im already annoyed by it.

No, you are not.

Why?

YES. WHY? DEAR GOD, WHY?

Well, first, the wait.

Here, Blodget is pretending to be one of the people who were upset that the iPhone 4S wasnt teardrop-shaped or some crap.

(I have an iPhone 3GS, which still works great. But I confess that I have been coveting the superior camera on the iPhone 4 and 4S. I tried to buy a 4 once, a couple of months after it came out, but hundreds of people had been waiting all night in line to buy them to ship them to Asia, so I gave up. But I have decided to upgrade to the iPhone 5, unless it totally sucks.)

COOL STORY, BRO.

Despite Apples assertion that it is going to crack down on leaks, people seem confident that they know pretty much everything about the iPhone 5.

Which means exactly squat doodily monkey butts.

And here are the things they think they know that have jumped out at me (and annoyed me):

Its too bad that something else didnt jump out at you. Like some angry badgers.

The iPhone 5 is not going to have a really big screen, like the gorgeous screen on the Samsung Galaxy S3. Someone showed me one of those Samsungs recently, and I instantly coveted it.

 

Previous Page  1  2  3  4  5  Next Page 

Sign up for CIO Asia eNewsletters.