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BLOG: The Macalope Weekly: Pointless exercises

The Macalope | Aug. 13, 2012
You ever wonder why people write some of these pieces about Apple? The Macalope sure does.

The thinking here is apparently that while Steve Jobs was brilliant, he was not brilliant enough to leave some notes about what to do next or hire executives who were smart enough to continue along without him. Why someone would think that is beyond this pointy commentator, but there it is.

This week, the Associated Press published a story with a truly eye-opening headline: IPhone appeal dims as Samsung shines. IPhone appeal dims? Thats not exactly the impression given by the companys report nor its executives.

Or reality! If iPhone sales growth is slowing, its probably because Apple has all but completed carrier penetration in the U.S. and has yet to fully emerge in China and India. If the company can make a prepaid iPhone 3GS available for those markets, we might see growth jump back up to phenomenal instead of simply amazing.

Remember: Last time Jobs left the company, it nearly collapsed.

More than twenty years ago.

But as much as I respect him, Tim Cook is not Steve Jobs. Whereas Jobs was iconoclastic and mercurial

All of these comparisons immediately devolve into a bunch of psychobabble that the authors are consistently unqualified to give.

By asking about Apples post-Jobs future, Im not trying to troll a company I respect deeply.

You may not be trying to, but the effect is still pretty much the same.


If you've read as much tech coverage as the Macalope, well, God help you. But you would have noticed that Apple is held to a different set of standards than, oh, every other company ever. Writing on the Wall Street Journals ironically-named Smart Money site, Quentin Fottrell brings us the dreaded list of 10 Things Apple Wont Tell You! (No link because COME ON, but tip o the antlers to Bill Hurt.)

Cue dramatic music.

For example, you may be interested to learn that Apple wont be telling you that youre tired of buying so many of its products:

with even Apples most loyal customers upset about the steady stream of newer models.

Which, apparently, you are required by law to buy, because you bought that LC back in 1992.

Some commentators chastise Apple for coming out with new iPhones and iPads only once a year. Fottrell says thats too much. The Macalope wishes Apples critics would get together and get their stories straight. Fottrell seems unconcerned that Samsung has come out with 18 flagship phones in the amount of time its taken you to read this sentence.

Item number two in Apples transgressions against humanity: Apps end up costing too much! Yes, were you aware that with in app-purchases, you can end up spending a lot of money on these things?


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