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BLOG: The Macalope Weekly: Pointless exercises

The Macalope | Aug. 13, 2012
You ever wonder why people write some of these pieces about Apple? The Macalope sure does.

You ever wonder why people write some of these pieces about Apple? The Macalope sure does. Whoo, boy, does he. Once again, a member of the Apple Doomsday Cult feels the need to express himself, despite the company doing, you know, pretty good. Then well look at the high bar that tech pundits raise for Apple. And finally, Henry Blodget is back with another nonsensical attempt to swat the hornets nest. Its too bad he finds no sport in swatting actual hornets nests.

Shine on

It's been almost a year since Steve Jobs left Apple, and while the company hasnt fallen apart yet, its not for a lack of technology pundits speculating that itll happen any day now.

Times Sam Gustin is the latest to ask Is Apple Losing Its Shine After Steve Jobs?

Paging Mr. Betteridge. Mr. Ian Betteridge, please call your office.

If last weeks technology earnings bloodbath gave you pause, consider this.

Technology earnings bloodbath? The examples Gustin cites are Facebook, Zynga, and &

(Wait for it &)

& Apple.

Bloodbath. The company only beat its guidance by like a billion dollars. Total fail.

Were halfway through the first sentence and already the dumb in this piece is causing the Macalopes brain to leak out of his ears.

What happens if Apple, the worlds most valuable technology company, falters?

Armageddon? Or worse, the movie Armageddon? OH, GOD, WHAT IF ITS THE MOVIE?!

As the one-year anniversary approaches of the death of Steve Jobs, the visionary and revered executive behind Apples most beloved products, tough questions could bubble up about Apples future, especially if we see a few more quarters of disappointing earnings results.

Just a reminder: What Gustin is talking about here is the fact that Wall Street analysts overestimated what Apple would make in the quarter. The companys profit was up 20.5 percent.

Last week, Apple delivered a rare earnings disappointment.

Hes called it disappointing twice now, but hasnt actually said what happened. Informative!

Apple reported sales of $35 billion, below Wall Street expectations of $37 billion, and said it sold 26 million iPhones, down from 35.1 million in the previous quarter but 28% higher than last year. That result was underwhelming for a company that normally blows away Wall Street expectations.

Wall Street analysts guesses were off in the opposite direction this quarter. Apple doomed.

Apple has a winning product with the iPad tablet, but that device faces increased competition, most notably from newly introduced Google and Microsoft devices.

Objection. Increased competition assumes facts not in evidence. Also, in the case of Microsoft, products not in evidence.

What if Steve Jobs already introduced the overwhelming balance of Apples breakthrough products?


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